paulala!

9:42PM

not going to use this anymore. catch ye (;

11:47PM

rockness was wild! had a really fucking good time. no sleep, no food and an abundance of  credit card usage was brilliant. obviously not for taking out money.
spending hours in a tent and making a double spleeping bag was one of my best ideas. 
the music was amazing and everyone was brilliant. 
blondes really do have more 'fun' but i vow never to let them fuck up my life again (;
i'm really exhausted and i just want to go back to watching naked men wrestle until some midget causes a riot.
i'm so happy right now and i can't get over how good it feels to love someone so much you're willing to do anything for them.
good times, good times.

10:37PM

check this shit out still being 'vonir' how good.

content is what i am and i know exactly why that is.
its been over 3 months now and in that period of time everything has changed a lot, even me...too much?

to be honest, i know i'm going to leave absolutely everything here and fuck off in a few years.
not to fuck off because i can't stand it, but to see everything i want to and to do what i've always promised myself.
the 18th of july this year is going to be the first day of the best time ever. who knows whats going to happen, and thats the sheer magic of it. also having no contact with anyone apart from my family for 3 weeks sounds perfect.

san francisco.paris.tokyo. in that order please.



15 hours without a cigarette, its time for patches.

i drew a building today. japanese inspired, though to suit anywhere but there.
lovin' it. really really lovin' it.

2:19AM

okokoo.


memory (;

2:40AM

fuck it.

1:32AM

i'm not happy, nor sad. this weekend has been so sureal.it began on thursday and finished some time tonight. friday was one of the best nights i've ever had, though i know the tiny thing it was lacking. 
i spent the whole time with my best friend and this year i hope life doesnt throw as much shit at us as it did last year.

£900 for flights to la is £900 well spent and its exactly what i need this year.

we all go through life looking for something to love. whether its love for a partner or a career or anything that inspires someone. but at the end of the day is it really worth it?

i used to boast about my exceptionally good memory but these days memories just fuck me up. i remember
when i used to go out on friday nights fully equipped with my £5, lip gloss and chewing gum. to meet my boyfriend that stayed a few streets away and who would walk me home every night. nothing used to bother me then apart from getting my white parka dirty. because that was the extent of how bad being 12 was for me.

no communication is no confusion.

heavy emo but what do you expect when all my endorphins were released (;

3:36AM

and nobody else understands. but everyone else has the deciding vote.
or maybe not?we'll never know.my hearts big enough again. ooh emo.

memories (: 

[Unknown LJ tag]

11:32AM

i suppose i should just sew my mouth up.

17/11/06...candles.




its time to make better memories.

p.m x

9:53PM

april 22nd 2007....definitely not the way today was meant go.
dinner,edinburgh maybe a few months ago. but at least talking now? no.happy fucking anniversary. lol.

too much water under that i suppose.


last night was so good though :D far too much dancing in my size 4 shoes, but it was worth it.

toilet seats, very unhygienic, but buzzing all the same.
sleeping on about 1 cm of flooring, stupid, but comfy all the same.
random taxi to ayr, regretable, but an adventure all the same.
ignoration in the morning, presumable, but humiliating all the same.


LA X  is what i need (;

12:51AM

i was an absolute cunt last year. 

this year though i think its everyone elses turn. 
no true love yet, one day ill find it though and preferably it wont be someone 
who relies too much on their friends, or scares me, or thinks he's the beeez kneeez because he can drive a car.

life is for living and thats all im doing.


i dont like kisses from other men yet. 

2:55AM

how shite that i didnt know the people that look at this lol. :P
and how shite that i have to be up i like 4 hours for work.
i'm under the thumb already.what a weird feeling and i dont like it.
see to be perfectly honest id be cool with the fact if everything just went back in time.
i'd make a great hippy.

i'm really surprised at myself right now lol.  i really don't give a fuck about anything anymore. well trivial things anyway.
i havent been angry in aaaages man and it feels so good.i've finally wised up.
and i've fallen in love with proper music all over again.

cheerio. x

8:54PM

more than a month now.

did i really want to spend my days popping pills and smoking joints?

i don't think so, i think i've found the perfect man now (;
too old? nah everyone else is to cynical.

i'm having the best time ever but who says i wont have the odd wild night (;

1:26PM - saturday! (:

went shopping and then to the ark.  then to davids (:

l

12:04AM

that last entry is a mess lol.

anyway i'm so impressed by this "book" i've just read that i want to know more.
"My life so far has been a series of linear moments-without a hint of a coherent storyline, my consciousness and sub-consciousness wrestle, jumping from conversation to conversation, interaction to interaction, and all I can think about is whether im living a lifetime of coincidence or if I have a purpose….do I even care…."



so this weekend i think i'll be sitting in on friday with my french boy.(:
saturday is something i'm looking forward to, girls night out thanks.
i have a french exam in the morning. i don't even care about these ones. thats half my problem...there's always a tomorrow or a next time.

whatever, i just want to get back to thinking ''this is the best time of my life constantly'' that only happens with certain people.

the friends i've made recently seem like keepers who knows though, the boyfriend, the best friend of 13 years, the best friend of 2 years, and two of 11 months.

i'm pretty much in love with that.

D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S !


ahh man, peanutzzzzz !! oh and newcastle in march, and spain in july, londonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn   too ! 
japan please next.

11:48PM

7:48PM

[Unknown LJ tag]

3:46PM

katies party on friday (y)(y) !

saturday i woke up so early with a hangover. met nina in town and went to ayr.

flat2flat2flat2

best night...yeah. no words.

4:43PM

wonder what i'd be doing now ):







imagine loving someone so much...everything becomes easy and the rest becomes harder.

4:47PM

embrace tonight (:
legwarmers (:
i'm probably the most exhausted you can imagine but i'm on top of it.
38 fucking percent, ): hahahha

8:37PM

FROM NOW ON EVERYONE CAN JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME TO DO THINGS MY WAY.

DON'T TELL ME HOW MY LIFE IS. MAYBE I LIKE IT. DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE IT. AND CERTAINLY DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME BECAUSE YOU AREN'T LIKE ME.

WHEN I DECIDE TO CORRECT WHAT I'VE DONE IN THE PAST I WILL BUT FOR JUST NOW ALL I NEED IS A BIT OF FUCKING LOVE AND ASSURANCE.

NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHATS HAPPENED DURING MY LIFE AND HOW MY SET-UP IS SO NO-ONE CAN SAY WHATS RIGHT AND WRONG FOR ME. OKAY.

FUCKING RAGING BEYOND THE POINT OF CALMNESS.